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Andyco Fun
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 Employment Center  At Andyco it's more than a job... it's a job and a half! Welcome to our Employment Center! Looking fora challenging opportunity? Want to be pushed to the limit? We're looking for motivated individuals willing to work long hours for little pay. If this sounds like you (and you're NOT French!*), check our current job openings listed below. If you're a warm body, we've got hot opportunities! Are you a people person?Well then, are you a person? Maybe a low-paying, dead-end job as a cashier is in your future... Like tolive life on the edge? How about a life-threatening position as a researcher in our "extreme" R&D Department? Lovethe great outdoors? Earn money while making a connection with some of North America's last remaining wilderness areas -- connecting pipelines, that is! Whatever your interest, there's bound to be just the right opportunity at Andyco -- where it's more than just a job, it's a job and a half! Current Job Openings Title: Marketing Manager Job Description: Responsibilities
include the organization of frequent meetings where nothing of substance
is said and little is accomplished, plus the coordination of the softball
team, including the production and distribution of team T-shirts. Will spend
large amounts of time working on meaningless PowerPoint presentations that
few will ever see. Skills Required: Must be able to sound like you know what you're talking about when you don't really have a clue what's going on. Must be able to make those cool 3-D pie charts with the dropshadows in PowerPoint. Must be able to play shortstop and platoon in right field if necessary. Title: Kitchen Assistant Job Description: An
exciting opportunity in the company cafeteria. Responsibilities include
chopping, mashing, frying, burning, and scraping. The qualified applicant
will receive their very own customized name tag and matching hair net. Skills Required: Must be able to chop, mash, fry, burn and scrape. Must be able to use a microwave oven and pick hair out of hot chili with a ladle. Being named Edna, Betty, Agnes, Edith, Erma, or Gertrude a plus. Title: Lab Technician Job Description: Responsibilities
include looking at tiny objects through a microscope, jotting things down
on a clipboard, and scratching your chin while saying "Hmmm... fascinating."Skills Required: Must have a solid understanding of molecular biology, fluid-dynamics, quantum teleportation, seismology, paleoclimatology, numerical analysis, and obscure Star Trek trivia. A unique opportunity to inhale noxious fumes and risk injury, dismemberment and/or death on a daily basis for little compensation. |
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 "I wanted a career where I would be challenged. That's why I got a job at Andyco. My boss is an incompetent, borderline schizophrenic who makes me where this silly hat. Talk about a challenge!" 
Andyco Employee Benefits Package: 401kPlan StockOptions BonusPlan Refreshments OfficeSupplies We provide paper, pens, paper clips and other supplies within reason. Moving Expenses Upon eventual termination, we provide moving boxes for your personal belongings, plus a complimentary escort to the door by a member of our security personnel. MedicalPlan  Andyco offers a choice of 4 medical plans to suit your personal needs. |
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